This is not a letter, not an article, my heart just pounding and am just recording it just like a seismograph recording earthquake, my inner earthquake. She is not only a girl to me; she is my emotion driving my bloodstream who  decide  which part of the brain to be activated at all time, round all clock, more than sixty seconds in a minute, more than milliseconds mathematics, to make me  a psycho or a nervous freak. These moments sometimes prove me that I am a brainless skull.

I admit that I am a psycho, everybody is but not a brainless skull, at least should not be. I don’t know why I freaked out or made me write this when she didn’t bye’ed me when everybody did. Again she proved that psycho is not just only me when she ran towards me, from behind and when I looked back, she stopped. I don’t know why she stopped, neither does she. It might be due to me or she stopped just because she stopped. I was trying to stop my vanishing guts but oh hell, it finally vanished. Not only guts but I, myself was too not there at that moment except my skull and my body casing. Obviously she was there with her logical bodyguards, her mom and sisters, and on next side is me with no heart to express my love or my hate like a robot waiting desperately for a button to be triggered.  But her every movement behaved like a trigger to me, thousands of buttons pressed at the same time until time is resumed again.

3:03pm

I still love her and today I ended it, not my love but my desires. She is the only girl who deserves for me. I love her. I requested her to forget the past but as we all know we have a large memory and we know how to add but not to delete. I requested her to be my neighbor girl same again and nothing else up to the heart. We might not be more personal again but she remains in my heart forever. She is always in my subconscious. I don’t know what I wanted from her and never I tried to know but her remembrance was strong enough to change my mood always, and forever. I don’t know what shaped my mind but I am sure that she is only responsible for shaping my heart. She is the only person that made me go inside and listen the faint voice of my heart. I know these days, since 6 years, I was completely dissolved in her and the days were very painful, very very sweet pains playing.

And suddenly I realized, my ego,is one of the most fucked up thing ever been. My ego lost the battle with me. And the desires are on the way to hell. I don’t know but now I feel like I am pure, very pure. MAY THIS PURITY LAST FOREVER.

I LOVE YOU RY35XQ28.